The Loose Rope of Freedom: Finding True Independence at the Hand of God with Ex Voto
The only way to detach is to attach.
The Santuario di Montenero, located just outside Livorno, Italy, is famous for its vast collection of “ex voto” — devotional offerings, including artworks, made to God in response to a miracle. One of them is an icon, Madonna di Montenero, depicting Mary and Jesus with a bird perched on Mary’s hand.
If you zoom in, you will see that the bird’s legs are loosely tied to a rope which then runs under Mary’s hand and into Jesus’s hand. The bird is tied to Jesus with a rope, but the rope is very loose with a couple of large loops around her legs. The bird is tied to the hand of God but can easily take her legs out of the loops and fly away.
Whoever ordered this artwork in gratitude for a miracle must have experienced the main paradox of human existence. We all crave to be attached and detached at the same time. All children feel happy and play “independently” when their mom is around. They don’t seem to need her very much. But if they look around and don’t see her there on the bench, their world is crushed. Paradise is lost.
When they finally see her, Paradise is regained. All’s well. They need their mom to be there so they won’t need her anymore. If she is there, they don’t need her. If she is not there, they need her desperately.
When she is there, they can be “independent.” A bird can be free only when tied to the hand of God. Yet, it is tied loosely — it can take its legs out of the loop at any moment if she chooses to. But when it does, it feels so bad that it desperately looks for this lost connection. When we lose the sense of connection to the hand of God, we can’t be ourselves. We can’t play.
When we feel this connection, we are free and happy. If something makes us scared or unsure, all we need to do is pull on this rope a little and feel there’s someone there. The moment we feel it, our confidence is back. All’s well. We are free.
It’s a grave mistake to think that freedom equals independence. If we take our legs out of the loop, we will immediately feel the need to reattach ourselves to something else. We will anxiously look around for something or someone to attach ourselves to. We will look for another rope. Sadly, all other ropes are bonds. They are not loose. They are a noose around our neck.
All unhealthy attachments — any addiction you can think of — are a result of not being attached enough to the right rope. The reason people get addicted so easily nowadays is that they don’t feel tied enough to the right things. No one becomes free by detaching. We become free of all our unhealthy attachments by finding The Connection. It’s always loose. We can always get out of it if we want to. We don’t. Why would we?
When I lack confidence, all I need to do is pull a little and feel I am connected. Paradise is regained. I can keep playing. I know that if I leave, I will not be free. Sooner or later, I will find another rope that feels like a noose around my neck.
The only way to detach is to attach. Freedom is not a goal; it’s a side effect of cultivating this sense of connection 24/7. It’s a result of pulling on the rope a little every once in a while and feeling “it.” “It” is there. All’s well. When I am attached to the hand of God, I am detached from all other ropes.
Powerful!
This is full of wonderful observations and insights. There are also ample words of encouragement. Thank you for your work.